Don't Let Life Pass by in a Blur

Blog Post

Ronda Graff • Jul 24, 2020

With my mother-in-law, Dolores Graff, celebrating her 88th birthday on Friday, my family will wrap up a month chock full of birthdays, including mine a few weeks ago.

If birthdays do nothing else, they give you a chance to reflect on the past year and evaluate what you have accomplished and what has happened in your life. Sometimes it is a good reflection; other times you may be left wanting to just forget.

Studies show that as you grow older, the years tend to blur together because there are fewer momentous occasions to distinguish the days. Once the single-year birthdays, graduations, wedding and births are no longer a regular part of your life, the days are just filled with trying to figure out what to make for dinner every evening.

If you don’t think this is true, glance at a rack of birthday cards. You can find cards celebrating every single year from one to 10 years old, but then the gaps start by leaping to 13 to mark the start of the teenage years, 16 gets its own section and 21 warrants a couple rows. But from then on, it’s every decade and the cards only get snarkier, like you are just lucky to be alive.

Unlike when we are young, people were hesitant to ask my age after wishing me a happy birthday this year. While I’m not going to scream from the rooftops that I’m now 48, there is an alternative to getting a year older and it involves an appearance on another page in the paper….the obits.

With seven kids, a question people regularly do ask me is if I wish I could go back to those days of diapers and bottles. Not a chance and not because I didn’t enjoy it. Yes, there were days that nighttime couldn’t come early enough but for the most part, I wouldn’t trade those days when the kids were small with days spent swinging at the park, swimming at the pool or sitting on the floor for library story hour.

But those days are over and can’t be brought back. Rather, I’ve moved onto the next phase of life where my kids are old enough to fend for themselves if I just don’t feel like making dinner.

O.K. that was never really an issue. I’m only half-joking when I say that I could be passed out on the kitchen floor and they would have used me as a step-stool to reach the box of cereal before calling someone for help.

Currently, the years are marked with high school and college graduations. The last two kids will soon have their driver’s licenses. And wedding and birth announcements are likely only a few years away. But those special occasions will come to an end and it is up to each of us to consciously make those years stand out.

A few years ago as the years seemed to start to fly by, I decided I had to do something momentous or outside-the-box each year. So I did an Ironman triathlon which required 15 hours swimming, biking and running. I acted (if you want to call it that) in a local theater production, despite the fact that my memorization skills are non-existent. And last year, I hauled 8 people around Europe for two weeks and lost no one in the process.

As for the future, I still have high hopes to publish a book, learn to play the banjo and keep a plant alive for more than a year. Sometimes, it pays not to set the bar too high.

As for aspirations for the community, I have 2027 marked on my calendar. Not only is that the year my youngest son will graduate from high school, but we better have a new aquatic center in place.

Whether it is the start of a new year or your birthday, everyone should take a moment or two to really consider what they would like to accomplish over the next year. What do you want to see happen over the next five to 10 years, whether personally or in your community?

And if you think you are too old to start something today, consider this: You’ll still be one year older next year. Wouldn’t it be great to be one year older and have something to show for it like being able to playing “Dueling Banjos” from Deliverance?

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Polling Stations Offer Much More Than Just Voting

By Ronda Graff • 16 May, 2024

Sitting at a polling station for 12 straight hours provides a lot of insight into our community. The experience proved that we are social animals who need to be around others. The experience demonstrated that regardless of everyone’s difference of opinions, we are all still neighbors, friends and family who want what is best for our hometowns. And the experience showed that even a situation as dry and sometimes contentious as voting warrants a hug or two. Earlier this week, I had the privilege of working a polling station in McCook during Nebraska’s primary election. And while officially it was the opportunity to cast your vote to determine the future of the community and the country, let’s be honest that it was a social event. For transparency, it was not a social event based upon the voter turnout. The next day, several people commented that they didn’t know the primary was Tuesday. And several people noted that they were voting because they noticed someone else with an “I Voted” sticker earlier in the day. Otherwise, they had either forgotten it was the day of the primary election or they didn’t know in the first place. Granted, very few races in our area had either enough candidates to have a contested race (a sad fact) or had serious candidates to give the incumbents serious competition in which to hold them accountable (yet another sad fact). But I digress. Being at the polling station for so many hours can seem daunting, but instead it was fascinating. Yes, there were proclamations about how many hours were left until the polls closed, but that was followed by another trip to the food buffet provided by everyone working the precinct. I was fortunate to be at McCook Christian Church, which is home to two polling stations so we had twice the number of poll workers I am assuming. Not that my personal station’s worker were not entertaining on their own but “competing” against the opposing tables to see who had more voters kept us entertained. But I also watched as each voter entered the building, with at least one worker knowing them. With such slim pickings on the ballot, the voter could easily be in and out of the voting station in less than two minutes. This was even after showing their ID, a new requirement for voting in Nebraska. On a side note, no one took me up on the idea of taking a drink every time someone was turned away for not having their ID on them but kudos to those who went home to get their license and retuned to make sure they voted. Let’s not dwell on them driving to the station without their license in the first place. But I digress. Very few voters spent less than five minutes at the election site because inevitably a conversation began with a poll worker or another voter. There were questions about how work was going that week, whether the college-age kids were returning for the summer, if there were any big vacations planned in the upcoming months. And just as many conversations ended with a hug between friends, because they hadn’t seen each other in a while or they knew one of them had faced an illness or tragedy. None of this involved voting. Instead, it was another opportunity to interact with our neighbors and friends and remember that we have more in common than we have different. Before the November general election rolls around (mark your calendars for Tuesday, Nov. 5 and while you are at it, Thursday, Nov. 7 for Southwest Nebraska Big Give), there are many things to prepare for: Register to vote. Make sure you are signed up to vote and know which voting precinct you are assigned to. Many voters entered and then had to leave without voting because they had moved since the last election or their precinct had been reassigned. Learn about the issues on the ballot. Yes, you can have your phone with you in the booth to help you make last-minute decisions but it is your civic duty to have done a bit of research before voting. Educate yourself about the candidates. There will likely be gatherings where you can meet the local candidates, perhaps even a “debate.” But one of the pluses of living in a small community is the opportunity to meet the candidates in person. Reach out to them if you have a question or just to get to know them better. These are the people who will be making decisions that directly affect you, your family and your hometown. You have every right to know who you are voting for. In fact, it is your responsibility to enter that voting booth educated about the issues and people you are voting on. And finally, show up to vote. Even though there will be more choices on the November ballot and more people are expected to vote, it will still take less time to cast your ballot than you will spend in the drive-thru line for your morning coffee. Ultimately, you will likely leave the polling station with more than you arrived with: You will get a sticker. You will have the pride of knowing you did your civic responsibility. And perhaps most importantly, you will have the opportunity of interacting with the poll workers, who have given their day to make sure your voice is heard. Hugs are optional.