For the past several months as I drove the McCook High School swim and dive team to practice

in other towns, I would return and be amazed by the number of people at the bowling alley on

the edge of McCook.

The parking lot was overflowing. Cars were parked in the grass. Trucks were lining the building.

Some vehicles may have been blocked in by a fellow patron. It was great to see so many

people out and about, obviously enjoying something that they enjoyed. I don’t know if everyone

was bowling, enjoying a drink or playing pool, but it was something that made them leave the

house for the evening.

Which got me to thinking: why do some things make you leave your house and join with others?

I am genuinely interested to learn what activity, what event or what idea would make you leave

your home. Not permanently - just for the evening.

What will make you leave the comfort of your house, What will make you ignore the call of your

countless screens? What will override the joy of doing northing in exchange for doing

something? What gets you excited enough to venture out to be with friends and neighbors?

As a society, we have literally become less social. We are less connected. We have fewer

friends. We take part is a shrinking number of social outings.

Recent studies have shown that American society is experiencing a significant decline in face-

to-face social interaction, with data showing a 30% reduction in socializing for adults and nearly

50% for teenagers over the last two decades. Driven by increased technology use and the

pandemic, Americans are spending more time alone, with 12% of adults reporting having no

close friends in 2021.

From 2003 to 2022, time spent with friends in person dropped by 20 hours per month. Per day,

the average daily social interaction fell from 54 minutes to 34 minutes. What are people doing

with those 20 hours? Staring at a screen is the biggest culprit.

Whether during the day or at night, the easy answer to “what do I want to do” is staring at a

screen. If the thought of “I’m bored” starts to creep in, a TV show can alleviate the issue and

distract your mind.

The ways we previously interacted with others is also declining.

We are getting out of the habit of inviting others and are becoming less inclined to create the

social events. People are hosting fewer and fewer birthday parties or any kind of party, because

it does take effort to invite others and prepare for their arrival. There are a declining number of

service organizations because it takes work to keep them going. And church membership in the

U.S. fell below 50% for the first time in 2020, reflecting a broader decline in what used to be one

of the most traditional ways to form a social group

It can seem daunting to become more social, especially if you are the one hosting.

But what we have to realize is that if you don’t aim for perfection, ie., an expansive menu when

a couple bags of chips will do, a printed invitation when a group text will get people there, or an

immaculate house because as the recent saying goes, “No one is looking at your kitchen

baseboards.”

I will be the first to admit that when I get home for the day and I know that I won’t be venturing

out again, I go straight for my worn-out, dull grey, sweat pants that can’t and shouldn’t be seen

in public. And there are very few things that will make me return to my “public” clothes.

But I am trying to make an effort. I recently hosted a birthday party for my husband’s 54th

birthday. Upon arrival, most people asked if it was a significant birthday or a major milestone. I

replied, “No, I just wanted to have a party and celebrate my husband.” That is how odd a

concept it is now to simply host an event.

Ultimately, we realize how important socialization is to the individual and to our communities.

We need to be around friends and neighbors. That is where relationships are formed. That is

where we find common grounds. That is where figure out how to work together to make our

communities even better.

In this case, I don’t have all the answers, so I am truly asking: What is such a cool concept that

you look forward to it all day and can’t wait to join others that evening? What is an idea that you

want help making it a reality? What is something that you would be willing to leave your house

for and be involved in.

It may be a one-time event like a murder mystery hosted the McCook Rotary Club or a concert

sponsored by MNB Bank . It may be a multi-day event like golf league at Heritage Hills or

playing a character in Southwest Nebraska Community Theater Association’s production of

“Clue” (which is running March 5-8 at the Fox Theater).

Again, I don’t know everyone’s interests or what gets people excited. If you have an idea that

you would like to see happen, please reach out. If you would like to share why you leave your

quiet, warm house for a loud, bustling bowling alley, please contact me. I am genuinely

interested in why people are involved in the things they are and what would make you get

involved even more? Send me an email at rondagraff@gmail.com. Mail a postcard to MCFF,

Box 525, McCook NE 69001.

If we are going to reverse what some refer to as an "anti-social" era, where cars, screens, and work habits reduce the necessity of physical presence, we have to take the steps to create

events where people want to be and invite others to join us.